The Magic of “Firsts”

Before I saw the “First Kiss” video, I had spent much of the week thinking about how most of my major “first” experiences have now come and gone. At the time they happened, like all young people, I didn’t think much about how magical first experiences are…because when you are young, you think everything will always be wonderful, or will happen again. But watching this video made me really, really miss the feeling and magic of a first kiss:

Now, I am not really complaining, because kisses with someone you have kissed for 16+ years are also magical in their own way – they are “knowing” and comfortable, and there is history in every touch – but it’s not the butterflies and intense passion of a first kiss, when your blood literally zings through your veins with desire. If I had known my last first kiss was truly the last, I would have savored it more. But I still remember lots of first kisses. One in particular, with a former high school classmate in my driveway, can still bring chills from the memory…it was that good. There are other firsts that I miss:

The first time you hold hands…

The first time you make love…

The first time you hear the words, “I love you”…

Your first real job and paycheck…

The first time driving with a shiny new license…

The first time you see a positive pregnancy test…

The first time you hold/nurse/rock your baby…

There are so many first time memories that I cherish and revisit often. I can’t help but feel a little sad that I won’t experience those moments again, but I can’t be too sad, because I got to experience them already, and they are part of me. Besides, I am not done living, so there are still a lot of firsts to look forward to:

Purchasing our first home…

My first child leaving the nest will be so bittersweet…

Gaining new sons and daughters by marriage…

Grandbabies…

And personal goals, because relationships are a big part of my everyday, but my relationship with myself is becoming a lot more central to my development.

My first half marathon, and then marathon, and then tons of PRs…

My first full-time, paying job in YEARS, and one that I love (teaching)…

Writing more, hopefully getting published…

Traveling so many places…

And some secret dreams I am not ready to speak out loud yet.  Life is so full of possibilities, hopes, and “firsts.”  We just have to remember the old with fondness, and look forward to what is around the bend, because every day is a new opportunity.  What are some firsts you are lovingly remembering, and what are some you are looking forward to experiencing?

Hope Dealer

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