I am a PROUD loser. Since the first week of July, I have lost 37lbs….30 since late August when I started a low carb diet. I don’t really have words that can adequately express how excited I am about this. I feel amazing and empowered.
The sad thing is, I knew I was really overweight. I could see the number on the scale and I knew size 18 pants were not a good thing, but somehow, I could always justify my bad choices.
I don’t look that big.
I am not as big as that person.
I am really hungry today, and I skipped breakfast, so I can eat a lot right now.
I won’t eat fast food again after this week.
I’ll start tomorrow.
I had a bad day, I deserve this.
My husband loves me the way I am.
I am sure you can fill in the blanks with dozens of other excuses, these were just some of mine. Yet, I was getting winded going up the stairs and I was tired ALL.THE.TIME. I was waking up tired. Shopping had become nightmare. I literally got sick to my stomach at the thought of having to try on new clothes and swimsuits were torture. In the early summer, I hit a point where I absolutely hated myself every time I looked in the mirror.
And then…I had this epiphany where I knew that I was capable of more. I knew in that moment that I could, and should, live an amazing life. I may not have control over some things, but I have control over how I look and feel at all times. I have control over my thoughts. I have control over what I eat and if I exercise. In a world where we often only have an illusion of control, I knew I had the power to change my life in certain ways.
So I did.
I wish I could say there is some magic pill, but there isn’t. I want it and I am making the choice every day to keep working toward what I want. I’ve had the power all along. I am more powerful than I have ever given myself credit for.
I am more than my food choices.
I am more than a couch potato.
My body is capable of amazing things.
I just had to decide that it was true. Have you ever heard that song by Sister Hazel called “Change Your Mind”? It’s pretty much exactly like that.
I decided I was capable of making better choices. I researched diets and decided that low carb would be the best option for me. I knew I was addicted to carbs and sugar and that they were making me fat. I have always wanted to eat a whole food diet and get off white flour and sugar and now I have accomplished that. I also started running which is something I have always said I wanted to do. I realized that saying I want to do something, but never taking steps to accomplish it, makes me a liar. I really don’t like liars. I want to be known as a woman of my word.
So here I am. I am weighing in today at 181 lbs. I didn’t lose weight through the holidays, but I didn’t gain, either. I chose to live a little and enjoy some of the food that would normally be a big no for me, but I didn’t go crazy. I have goals to meet in the next few months and I have learned a lot of self-control. Food is no longer my idol.
I still have 31 lbs to go, but I know I can meet that goal now. I can keep it off, too. I am never going back. I enjoy eating low carb and I have grown to LOVE running. If you knew me before, you would know those are words I never would have spoken six months ago.
Be the change.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.